I finally saw Panic! At The Disco and it was EVERYTHING!


I’m honestly not sure how to start writing this post. It’s not like I have no words to express how close to heaven I was yesterday but I just have so many words going through my mindthat I’m really unsure where exactly I’m gonna go with this post.

I guess let’s start at the beginning? And by that, I mean when I first discovered Panic! At The Disco – and no, I’m not kidding.

I was 11 years old when P!ATD first found their way into my life with the release of their song ‘I Write Sins Not Tragedies’. I was just a kid who didn’t really have a ‘favourite music genre’ yet. But the moment the video for ‘IWSNT’ first came out I was automatically attracted. It was just so weird, so different – so good. My friends didn’t really understood why was I so obsessed with them – they thought the band (and Brendon Urie in particular) was way too weird – I mean they were and Urie is still weird which is why he’s so awesome!

Panic! – and especially Urie – were the first ones to teach me that it was okay to be myself – which meant a lot to me who was just about to become a teenager.

There was a period when I wasn’t as connected to the band as I would be in my pre-teenage and teen years but around 21 years old, so 2-3 years ago, when ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’ came out I was drawn right back to their music. Again, a really weird music video where Brendon becomes a devil version of himself. The fact that he was transforming himself in this video like all of this other videos, taught me again that it’s okay to be myself, whatever that is.

So since reconnecting 100% with the band, I’ve been an obsessed and faithful fan ever since and all of this reconnection led me to a peaceful reunion with my childhood/teenage self and coming to terms with the dreams that I had as a early teen – which are very similar to the ones I have now and trying to make a reality.


Anyways, now let’s go back to yesterday, when I finally was in the same room as the person who has been helping me to accept my weirdness for now 12 years.

So I was supposed to go to the concert with my friend Justin (best guy friend – he’s the one who introduced me to cosplay) but unfortunately he was sick and couldn’t make it anymore. I invited my friend David (front man of Dirty Rick) who I knew would be a very valuable choice cause I knew that he would appreciate the music almost as much as I would – which was good enough for me! And also, he knows how to rock at a concert.

We met up at Union station maybe an hour and a half before the band’s performance. We went for street meat and eventually made our way to the venue which was Downtown Toronto.

The amount of people there was unbelievable. I mean, I knew that the band was popular but I guess it’s always impressive to see the number in front of you.

We eventually made our way to our seats in section 101 – and that’s when the excitement began.

I was looking around to see the different fans and it was just amazing to see the diversity – men, women, adults, teens, kids – it was a great feeling to be in the same room as other Panic! fans who’s lives were probably very touched by the band.

And then, the real excitement started – the venue’s lights dimmed down a bit and a countdown appeared on the stage’s screen – a 10 minutes countdown – suggesting that once it would be over, the concert would start.

I remember my eyes feeling like they were glowing of excitement when only 3 minutes were left to go because that’s when I realized that in a few more minutes I would be listening to my favourite music ever live in front of me!

The lights completely shut down when the countdown was over followed right away by some other computerized designs. The music started maybe 5 seconds after that and Brendon Urie literally jumped out from the ground to eventually put his feet on the stage.

It basically felt like the messiah finally appeared in front of a crowd of followers. I’m not religious but I’m just saying that the feeling I got when seeing Urie for the first time in real life was very close to what heaven must feel like.

Now, I could try to remember the order of the songs that played but first, it would be very hard and second, what’s the point? If you wanted to know that, you would’ve went to the concert and also – I was dancing so much and singing along to all the songs to remember which ones were performed previously. It’s almost as if the fact that I was so excited to be there felt like I was high with a continuous positive energy flowing in my body.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt that much happiness at a concert. I couldn’t even stop dancing and moving around when David was trying to take a picture of me! Also, the headbanging was SERIOUS! Cause I seriously have lots of pain in my neck now.. WORTH IT!

But yeah, I couldn’t stop smiling and just feeling at peace. I finally was in the same room as the person responsible for my musical and personal growth.

I know it sounds quite intense but until you listen to Panic! At The Disco and see them live you will understand. Or maybe not, but that’s okay too!

Oh yeah by the way, the overall performance was insane. Brendon’s voice was magical and the musical improvs and interludes were so great! There never was a dull moment when I would feel like sitting down – I was literally dancing the whole time.

So, thank you Panic! At The Disco and Brendon Urie for making a stop in Toronto – it was the best music night of my life.

xo, TheModMisfit.

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